Autos Answered > Buy Cars > Top 7 Muscle Cars

Top 7 Muscle Cars

Top 7 Muscle Cars questions and answers

Q: Babies head close to the top of car seat at 7 months?
My babies head is getting incredibly close to being over the top of his car seat. I was told he can't be put in a forward facing car seat until he's 9 months old as his neck muscles aren't strong enough but also told that his head can't protrude out the top of his car seat. he is only 7 months and don't know what to do as mothercare told me the above which contradicts each answer. I don't want to put him in a forward facing seat and injur him if got forbid we had an accident and vice versa if we had an accident with his head exposed. Has anyone else had to upgrade early?

A: We had a similar problem. Our son was over the weight, but not 6 months, so we felt he wasn't old enough to face forward. We bought a Britax FirstClass Si seat which is rearward and forward facing. It lasts until they're approx 4, although if he's tall now, it probably will be when he's about 3. Here's a link to the seat....http://www.kiddicare.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplayA_475_10751_-1__77492_10001_?cm_sp=product_lister_page-_-endeca_promotions-_-banner_product

Q: Which of these cars would you choose as a project car?
Here's a list that I'm messing around with in my head, doing research on all of them and seeing what sounds like more fun and less pain in the ass. Here it is.. 1) 92-93 240sx 2) 90-92 Rx7 Turbo 3) 70-73 Datsun 240z 4) 70-73 Datsun 510 5) 67 Mustang fastback 6) 67-69 Camaro 7) 69-72 Chevelle Now I know all the import guys are gonna go for the top 2 and the muscle the last 3 and the 240z and 510 enthusiasts 3 & 4 lemme know what you guys think. To the second comment, you couldn't see an early 90's Japanese car that wasn't running being a project car? Thanks for the input so far guys. I agree with all of you as far as the old school muscle being a better investment and the parts being readily available. And smog exempt ;). But I'm torn between my love of the corners and the spooling of a turbo and the raw power and looks of a muscle car. For the guy who said the1st 4 are junk, you're crazy those are awesome machines, drive one then get back to me. I think I've narrowed it down to these 4, keep in mind money is a factor the 67 fastback would be #1 no doubt if they weren't so damn expensive. 1) 240sx 2) Datsun 510 (maybe drop in a 350 or the SR20DET 3) 67 mustang fastback 4) 67-69 Camaro

A: I would say go with the 67-69 Camaro. Its going to cosy you more up front, but, In my opinion (that's what you wanted, right) The Camaro's can look the coolest. If I were you, I would go with some parts from Mooneyesusa.com (real old school hot rod parts). I don't know if you want to restore it or what. Another reason I would go for the American Muscle; History. There was an era in the U.S. when it was all about what came out of Detroit. My friend's Grandpa worked in a Ford assembly line during the 50's and he told me how there was a sign at the head of the plant, big enough for everyone to see. It said "Buy one foreign car, put ten Americans out of work". As for history, I do have a problem with foreign cars, because once we started dealing with Japan, Detroit fell into a slump, Pittsburgh became a ghetto (coincidentally, unemployment rates in that region skyrocketed), and the American Car manufacturers started making cheap, shitty cars... The Muscle car represents a time in American history when it was about freedom... Now mind you, the Japanese cars are built to last (I've heard), but the market is saturated with them. Every Billy Badass on the block drives a Mazda or a Nissan. You won't be cool rolling in one. But a Camaro, Chevelle, or Mustang is sure to turn heads! Think about it! Plus muscle car parts are easy to come by. You can just go to the Chevy Dealer, and can pick up anything for it! Try going to Nissan, and getting a stock radio, I dare ya!!! These are just thing to think of, I know my answer is one sided, but surely you saw my point... Can you help me out? I'm trying to fix my 81 Camaro, and I asked a question as to what I can do for it. Do you think you can answer it? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApygTJq1wD87o0s77zSBNBzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080813003715AAnBdmE

Q: What is a good first car?
I just today turned 16, I'll be getting my permit within the next month or two, so I want my first car. I've been looking at late 60s mustangs, chevelles, and other old muscle cars, but seeing how the price of gas has gone up I was looking at a Mustang 5.0 from 1990 give/take a year or two. Also looked at supras. It must be FAST. I have about $25,000, but don't want to spend all of it, maybe $15,000 tops. I'm probably getting one of these 3: 93-94 Supra(modded to 400+hp), 1990ish Mustang 5.0, or a 93-94 RX-7(modded, also.) Does anybody own any of these? Opinions on which one is good? Any other car suggestions? Thanks a lot.

A: LOL Forget about the movies, bro. Fast & Furious is written all over your question! *Being real here* ;) None of "these" are GOOD first cars. TRUST "ME" here! - yeah, I may get thumbs down concerning this matter - but none the less it's the truth. I read that you're a wanna' be racer - and that's awesome! We are FEW. The question you have to ask yourself is: do you want to race FWD's, RWD's or AWD's?!! Each has it's own distinctive advantage (as you'll find out with experience) When you can answer that question for yourself - only THEN will you be able to post a question like this and get any "Real" meaning out of such answers. My guess is that you're a RWD guy (but being 16 means you have a TON of experimenting to do. God Bless your travels! ;D $15,000 - Hmmm... learn on an "exposible car" - in that I mean - go fast and/or wreck a car you "can't live without". Racing means wrecking!!! The two go hand-in-hand! Don't let anyone tell you any different!!! Your first 2 or 3 vehicles should be considered "expendable" as they'll be abused beyond comprehension and may be wrecked several times??? (REALITY) Civic's/Sentra's *FWD*, older Mustang/Camaro/Firebird *RWD* or WRX/Evolution *AWD* Only AFTER (!) you're an accomplished driver/racer - look towards a Cobra/GT-500 mustang, Later model/Restored Supra Twin-Turbo (2JZ-GTE engine) or the RX7's "FD3S" Rotory Twin-Turbo motor. (As I believe you'll steer toward RWD's - as do ALL "True Racers"! :D I just gave you the top 3 most popular builds - which means (if you "google" - you'll be able to make the most of my comments!) Be safe & win!

Q: What do you think of my top 11 anime series?
11- Pokemon: This series is the reason why anime became popular. It was so original at the time and so fresh that it stayed fresh for a long time. Unfortunately other monster anime like Digimon and YuGiOh came out and competition became tight that they ran out of ideas for good episodes. Pokemon is the original and the best so SCREW OTHER MONSTER ANIME! They's all wannabes!! 10- Outlaw Star: The coolest thing about this anime is that the characters are so unique and do not have any similarities to any other anime series. It totally stands out and has 9- Gundam Seed: The characters are forced to get involved in a war and it shows how they feel from that perspective. The politics is a simplified version of its predecessor Gundam Wing but the psychology aspect was explored a far deal greater. Not only that, the animation is AMAZING! It was MOVIE-QUALITY! Gundam 00 is supposed to be the 1st HD series but the colorings and character designs in Seed still look much better! 8- Captain Tsubasa: The first ever stylized sports anime. This series made football so popular that the Japanese Football Association or w/e actually sponsors the show. and addidas does too! This show is the original and the best so to hell with the copycats like Prince of Tennis and Eyeshield 21! Slam dunk gets credit for not following the same pattern but I'm not a basketball guy, im not against it tho. 7- Cowboy Bebop: An anime series that's a so western it out-westerns even 2days western movies and yet it's a space western. An anime with an English dub BETTER than the Japanese version. And themes so unconventional for tv broadcasting. Kick @$$ show! 6- Dragonball Z: An awsome action-packed anime which is the embodiment of manliness. Look at Goku's arms and Vegeta's leg muscles and they have huge chests! Makes any guy wanna work out and bulk up! And they're tough and actually look like men, more easy to watch than bishonens! 5- Fullmetal Alchemist: A great mix of fantasy with drama and interesting characters, this series does not feature the usual child protagonist stereotype. The lead characters are kids but they're mature and intelligent which makes it so different. 4- InuYasha: A fantasy fairy-tale that had a great mix of action, romance and comedy. I am usually against the idea of having action and romance mixed in BOTH as the MAIN theme in movies, but this worked in an anime because the series was VERY long so it had time to develop the romance without cutting away from the action like they always do in stupid modern action movies. 3- Transformers: This series was so amazing, giant robots that turned into cars and planes and are at war, holy crap! Unfortunately because the series was Japanese/American it didn't become as great as it could have been as a serious TF series until the original movie came along, HOLY CRAP! That movie has awesome animation by even 2days standards! And they made it so dark and killed off Optimus Prime....which of course made me cry but the realism of war was what made it memorable. Screw the live-action movie not only because it had Michael Bay and Megan Fox, but because it could not to an ANIMATED film. 2- Death Note: A fantastic series, Death Note has a mind stimulating story that just draws you into it like a black hole. One of the most well-constructed and believable supernatural series mixed with reality detective work. And despite the name it's not a wussy emo show. 1- Gundam Wing: This series is by far the most complex and well written anime series of all time. If you're into military and politics even if ur a non-anime fan, you HAVE to watch this. Wing, despite it being science fiction future story, the politics gets u thinking and u begin to understand politics better. 3- Transformers It could not COMPETE to the animated film* Dude, Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star and Gundam Seed are seinen anime. And as for the shojo part....IM A GUY!! It's to be expected especially since im not gay there are only 3 mecha Who the hell cares if a Cowboy Bebop SPINOFF is a Shojo? It started out as a seinen anime after all. I mean can I call Blood+ Yaoi just because a spinoff about Haji was a yaoi? um...actually, Digimon manga started in 1997 when Pokemon ANIME started in 1996 in Japan. So POKEMON WAS THE FIRST! get the facts right CaptainJesusX

A: I dont like anime and im asian xD

Q: Constant lower back pain for 7 months?
I'm a 27 year old active female and mum to an 8 month old in the UK. About a month after he was born, I started getting lower back pain, I can only describe the pain in a much as it feels like all the bones in my spine are sitting on top of one another. I initially went to the Dr, who thought it was an after effect of the epidural I had in labour and gave me some co-codamol and ibuprofen, neither helped. I went back again 2 months later and was told it was muscular pain and it should settle. It hasn't at all, if anything if has got worse, it hurts all the time, I've notice when I pull the handbrake up on my car it really feels incredibly painful. I have to be careful how I roll in bed or get up from a chair because one move in the wrong direction and I'm in agony for a while before it settles to how it normally is. I've not done anything to my back that stands out as having been the cause, I've kept active, I still play competitive netball, do all the normal household chores and looking after a young child. I've tried heat and ice, back pain patches, stretches. It does feel now, like th lower half of my spine is just sitting bone upon bone and my spine hurts to touch in places. I was thinking of trying chiropractic or physiotherapy, my doctor said I didn't need physio 6 months ago as it wasn't affecting my mobility but I know something is wrong because of the sheer amount of pain it is causing yet my dr doesn't feel there is anything wrong nor has he examined my back. I am wondering whether it is worth trying an alternative approach of whether I need to go back to the dr and say I think this is wrong with my back. Problem is in the UK, everything takes so long to get done, I tore a muscle in my shoulder in 2008 and in 2009 was added to the surgery waiting list, that's still not been done hence why I was considering an alternative approach to trying to get my back sorted out. Another issue I feel is that when I have been to the dr, they have treated me like there is nothing wrong with me and I am making it up because the second time I was asked did I feel I just needed a sick note, I'm a full time Mum, chance would be a fine thing! Would be grateful for any input from back pain sufferers or any health professionals.

A: during the last trimester of pregnancy your body made lots of progesterone to soften ligaments in preparation for the birthing process. sometimes the pubic bones do not realign properly or the sacroiliac joints do not return immediately to proper position. go to a physical therapist or chiropractor. either should be able to give immediate help for the pain

Q: Can I vent for a second???
It's not a question, I just need to vent, here I go: 1) When I stop to let someone cross the street it would be NICE to get a 'thank you' wave back. 2) People need to stop walking in the MIDDLE of the road after a snow storm and expect "me" to move! 3) People need to scrape the snow off the tops of their cars as well! 4) When you shake my hand for the first time it would be NICE for women to put some MUSCLE into it. (Im a woman too). 5) Look at me in the eye when you meet me for the first time and shake my hand. 6) When I'm next in line (i.e. at a CVS) the workers should learn to wait on me next and not skip me to wait on the person next to me (who should be behind me) so FRUSTRATING. 7) When people cross the street in front of me they CAN WALK A LITTLE FASTER, rather than SLOW and STARE. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. I feel better now.

A: When I drive down the street, can you back off a little so I can watch the front and not my rear view mirror. Especially on snowy, rainy and icy roads. Thanks, I needed that too.

Q: I need my dog for protection!Anyone no how tot rain a dog to sick someone in a kid napping or attack!Plz hlp!?
I live in a bad neighborhood and I have a Chow Chow black lab mix. He is not tall hes about as tall as 3 inches above my knee but he has the muscle of 3 pure top choosers rottwielrs! So I need to know how to train him to attack the person who is attacking me. He is really smart too he will probably inhale anything I teach him. Most people say" oh well they attack out of instinct so you don't have to teach him" but What if he doesn't have that instinct. And people say "don't teach him to do that he will attack and kill a little girl or attack another dog." but I wold teach him to only attack on MY comand not the guy who is being attacked. I want to say Bear sick em! and he run over and clamp down. He has powerful jaws!!!!!! trust me I no. I smacked him once (not hard at all more like a pop) and he turned around and but a big hole in my leg. He's not a bad dog its just that he was abused and abanded in a ditch on Christmas eve left in an icy puddle of water in a unclimbable to a puppy 10 feet high ditch. He was thrown out of the car at the age of 5 months when he should sitll be drinking his omther milk but the owner threw him and his other 7 brother and sisters in that ditch. So now hes two years old but he still fears getting hit even if it just a flick on the nose so it really wasn't his fault he bit me it was out of pure fear. Anyway, Don't worry he got punished. And he can't save my house from robbery because he lives in a fenced yard on the side of the house. And I want him to stop attack when I say " Cease". Please people I beg of you tell me how to do this. The police can't do this because they only train the police dogs. Trust me I asked. So please save your breath if you are going to say the following... 1. Don't you'll get sued if he attacks another dog or a young child or a grown human 2. don't teach him that its a bad thing to teach them they could harm someone and then be put down. 3. He will just do it out of instinct(beacause I can't risk that if I'm in a fight with an attacker and I scream for help and he just looks at me) thanks for listening and please try to help me train him. Or be able to take him to some place bye the Woodlands Texas to take him to train him. thanks for listening and I hope you can help!!!!! Hes a really nice dog but don't worry he won't bight me once I get him neutered this month. Mwuhahahahaha. ps. I'm 13 years old. Oh and I have a mom and dad but I want to be able to walk in the cool quiet evenings and not be scared. And I no the possabilitys of my dog getting hurt but if its to protect me im shure the dog would be more than happy to protect me. If you have any sagegtions just email me at sarahbethspencer95@yahoo.com I no I have parents but I want to walk without fear. And its just extra satey I didn't have before.

A: Ok, Training a Guard Dog. (This Will Take Time) Firstly Teach your dog to bark and then to go to a family member when something unusual happens. To do this, after it barks, call it to you and reward it with a treat or chew toy. You want to develop a reflex so that when a dog senses something unusual, it barks and then goes to a family member. Some dogs may get carried away with barking, so it may be necessary to also teach them a 'quiet' command. Sometimes it's helpful to use an 'interrupter,' such as shaking a can with pennies in it, or giving the quiet command and squirting the dog in the mouth with water. The dog will stop barking to lick the water; follow that by giving it a treat. Eventually, the dog should respond to the quiet command alone, making the noise or water unnecessary. Security dogs take watchdogging a step further by aggressively defending their territory. Because they can be dangerous, security dogs require special training; owning one is a serious responsibility. Some home security companies suggest putting up a 'Beware of Dog' sign to deter would-be intruders, which may be smart. But good guard dogs don't have to be scary, just smart barkers. Sometimes with a guard dog it works just as well instead of a bite, a snarl and a show of teeth or a good bark and growl. The Next Step Teaching it to attack with out harming anyone. The trick is to make the dog think it is a game and to only attack clothing, not flesh. The trainer simply slips his/her hand up their sleeve and say in a very friendly and playful voice, “Get it.” The puppy will think it is a game of tug-o-war and immediately bite down on the cloth. They start to shake the sleeve back and forth and really get the puppy worked up, then tell it to drop it and pry the puppies mouth away and pull their hand through the sleeve. After a while the puppy will know what “drop it” means and to not attack the hand. Keep in mind that this must be practiced often and should always be a game. Don't use words like “Kill it,” or “Sic 'em!” These words can trigger something in a dog and they will indeed kill it, this is a mistake many people make and as a result, have their dogs turn on them. When the puppy gets older start running while he has a hold of the sleeve, this will teach him to keep hold until it is told to let go. Now that the guard dog has the basic 'grab it and don't let go concept,' it's time to teach Rover to bark viciously to ward off burglars and whatnot. It's mostly imitation, if the dog hears a deep fierce bark it will learn that that is what it should be doing. Now the owner can sit there and bark at it's dog, but the results may be less than perfect. Instead, the owner should find a video with a particularly nasty sounding bark and replay it over and over with the dog present in the room. Hearing the bark may startle the dog at first, and he may not like it much, but he will imitate in time and be barking like a pro. Owners should keep in mind, that the bark from a dog barking on the film has to be somewhat similar to the 'learning' dog. As the dog is being trained there is one very important rule to keep in mind. Never, under any circumstances, should the dog be beaten or mistreated it in any way. This doesn't just apply to guard dogs, any dog that is being beaten should immediately be taken away from its owner. Mistreating animals is possibly the lowest point a human can achieve. The reason many dogs turn on their masters and their family is because they were mistreated. Sadly, when a dog turns, it is not the owner who is punished, it's the dog. In part of your question you said that you will say Sic em Bear, As Stated Above you should not teach a dog that command. And i think that is very good that you are only 13 but you are thinking about your safety well done!!

Q: Oh Well !!!?
Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..." 3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 11. "Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." 12. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" 13. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 14. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it." 17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin. 18. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 19. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 20. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 21. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore" 22. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

A: LOL.

Q: Smile!!!!!!?
Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..." 3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 11. "Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." 12. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" 13. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 14. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it." 17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin. 18. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 19. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 20. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 21. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore" 22. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

A: Whoa! LOL!!! How'd you get so many great jokes! Thanks! YOU made my day! :)

Q: One Liners, hope you like?
1. Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "...if you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key." 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high." 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 8. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 12. "Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." 13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff... boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it." 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think it's Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore." 23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night 24. Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks.

A: another star. I really like your jokes. You are good at them. lol

Q: did you like Tommy cooper ?
1. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key..." 2. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 3. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 4. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 5. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 6. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 8. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 9. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 10. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 11. "Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual." 12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? " "No, because he's really heavy" 13. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 14. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 16. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' 17. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin. 18. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 19. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 20. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there any more"

A: He had the amazing ability to make you laugh just by his expressions and his awful magic tricks. Great man!

Q: one, two, three liners! lol?
1. Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "...if you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key." 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, No, the steaks are too high." 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 8. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 12. "Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." 13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy" 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff... boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it." 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think it's Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore." 23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night 24. Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks.

A: LMFAO!!! Fantastic, you've lightened my lunch break, ta very much.

Q: reall funny jokes?
1. Two blondes walk into a building....you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key... 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts. 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high. 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off. 8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' 12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' 13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'. 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.' 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure: you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think it's Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat ba*tard!' 20.. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.. They charged one and let the other one off. 21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.' 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore' 23. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb As digging continues into the night! best answer goes 2 the person who tells me wich comdian made up these jokes

A: The late great Tommy Cooper.

Q: some tomy cooper one liners funny or not?
1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - "If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key" 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted," Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off". 8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." 12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' - "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " - ' Is it common? ' - "It's not unusual." 13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed? ""No, because he's really heavy" 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!" 20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore" 23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

A: Ha ha ha Ilike those ha ha ha well worth a star,,,,,,

Q: this is funny gotta read this one as well.?
1 . Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...' 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.' 4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' 6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. 7 . A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replied, 'I know you can't, I've cut your arms off'. 8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle. 9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. 11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' 12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' 13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy' 14. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.' 'How's that?' 'Don't you start.' 15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom! 16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' 18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, Or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin. 19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round.' The other one says 'So are you, you fat bast**d!' 20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 21. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.' 22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore' 23. Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night sorry that it's long. hope you like it tho :) just incase #14 when it says "hows that" apparently thats what they say after the hit the cricket ball, i think. lol glad ya'all like it x oh i thought i did put tommy coopers jokes on this, my mistake. thanks for pointing it out. these jokes are from tommy cooper.

A: All of those are really funny, bu the one that got me was #18 "Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin." I was lmaoin for at least 5 minutes. hah. Thanks for the laughs! =)